The past few weeks I have been feeling very stupid. As reflected in the paucity of the quality and quantity of my posts lately, I have not been oriented toward theology at all. I'm far behind on my various reading projects. I feel very inadequate to think theologically, and I'm glad that I don't have to face a classroom full of students for nearly two weeks. The last question of one of the last lectures I taught directly concerned the subject of my D.Th. thesis, and I was almost like, "Duh...", which was scary. (Some of that, however, I will blame on too many administrative pressures at the time.)
This happens from time to time. When I was doing my M.Th., sometimes all of a sudden I would feel like I was totally in over my head and incapable of doing what I needed to do. After struggling for a while, grace would be given, new folds would pop over in my brain, and I would emerge from the period of cloudiness better than before. I'm hopeful that this will happen soon, but this is a deeper funk of stupidity than what I have experienced before.
Has anyone else experienced something similar, or am I alone in this?
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3 comments:
These episodes become more common as you get older. The worst is when your ability decreases faster than your confidence and conviction. This always makes a great impression on the class. Better to have a "duh ..." moment.
This post has meant a lot to me. I, foolishly, thought that I was alone in this. I was so depressed last week and felt so utterly stupid intellectually that I didn't want to study, blog, comment on issues, etc.
Thank you for admitting that you struggle with this every blue moon or so. This was incredibly helpful.
Billy
Glad to be of help.
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